Friday, May 6, 2011

Wessel vs. Jickling

It was a fine spring day, with clear blue skies, a bright, umm.. fiery sun, and lovely 75 degree temperature.  It was an average Thursday, with no particular events or happenings.  Unless you happened to be observing the goings and comings of a certain Reed High School, then you might notice that a track meet was destined to occur at approximately 2:45 that afternoon.  You would watch the school buses jammed with middle schoolers pull up to the school parking lot, evacuate the large yellow vehicles, and file their way onto the bleachers.  Then you would watch as a long stream of kids in blue jerseys all made their way down onto the field, made a lap around the track, and then gathered for stretching circles.  Once they were properly stretched and limber, they would line up for 'calisthenic bounding'.  After they finished showing off their team unity, ending with a a finale of a couple shouts of "GO PANTHERS!" they would all walk back up the bleachers, and sit down for a few minutes of rest before the meet officially began.    

If you paid close attention to one blondie in particular, you would watch as she made her way to an official looking man in an ultramarine, long sleeved, Swope volleyball shirt, with scary sunglasses and a pretty rad looking, grey ponytail.  If you kept watching, and ever so innocently listened in on their conversation, you would hear something like this...

"Hey Mr. Wessel, do you have the baton bag?"
"I'm trying to find it."
"Oh really?  Well, what does it look like?"
"It's blue."
"What color blue?"

Then you might have been slightly amused as you watched the man named Mr. Wessel give the blonde girl the most utterly bewildered look you ever did see.

"What do you mean what color blue?  What type of a question is that?"

To which the girl replied;

"It's a great question!  I mean, it could be this color blue, (pointing at the man's shirt) or this color, (pointing at the sky) or it could be so blue it looks black,"

Just then, you would have seen another blonde girl walk up to the man, and, not having heard the previous conversation, ask Mr. Wessel what the baton bag looked like, to which a very exasperated teacher would respond,

"Well I don't know, seeing as we can't decide what shade of blue it is!"

Then you would watch the argument unfold, once again.  Finally, the seemingly amazing blonde girl and her friends would march off in search of the blue (although no telling exactly what color blue) baton bag,  and they would find themselves rather unsuccessful.

A few minutes later, if you were still paying attention, you would watch as the blonde girl walked through a crowd of people, and you would continue to watch as the teacher named Wessel stormed past her holding a faded, azure, canvas bag.
              
"This color blue!" are the words that the blonde girl would turn around to, seeing just in time an agitated instructor power-walk by.  You would see the girl shake her head in humorous disbelief, and follow the man in the ultramarine shirt so that she could retrieve a baton.

By this point in time you would be able to make certain inferences on the characters of this story that you were watching unfold.  First of all, you would guess that the track coach known as Mr. Wessel was a crazy, although good teacher.  You would very possibly sense the exasperation that he conjured from his students, yet you would also be able to sense that he was a loved teacher, despite his insane-ness.  Secondly, you would guess that the blonde girl was a very patient, amazing, absolutely stunningly fantastic, totally beautiful yet modest, lovely young woman, and you would laugh along with her throughout her attempts to assist her coach.

If you were still watching at this point in the story, you would be so emotionally invested in the plot that you would have already made custom t-shirts, purchased your foam fingers from the Amazing Story Store, and of course would have already memorized the main character's favorite color and birthday.  (don't have just one, and June 30th in case you were wondering).

However, right now I am going to press the fast-forward button and jump a few scenes into the future.

Now you would see the blonde girl at the starting line, preparing to run the 1600 meter.  You would watch with bated breath as you saw the 'so called' Mr. Wessel approach the participating Swope girls and ask one with a long blonde pony tail what her split time was.  Because you are such a smart person, and by smart I mean positively genius, you would automatically know, without any background information, that the pony tail girl was a Junior Olympic runner, and of course knew what a split time was.  Meanwhile, the poor blondie was punished with the asking of the same exact question.  You would try to shield your eyes, and plug your ears as you witnessed the coach wreaking revenge on the blonde girl who only wanted to know what color blue the baton bag was.  Luckily for you, the blonde girl is, like I said, amazing, and knows that Mr. Wessel is only giving her a hard time.  So, very much like a super awesome ninja, she rebounds and emerges unscathed from the verbal attack!  Success!  Blondie: 1, Wessel: 0.

That would conclude the end of your session, and don't forget to tune in next week!



Resource of Blue:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Shades_of_blue














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